The trend is understandable, especially given the strange events of the past two years. If you resolved to lose weight in 2020, you were doomed to fail even if you made it as far as March, when COVID arrived and locked us indoors with comfort food and Netflix.
Even before that, sometimes I would ask friends if they were planning a New Year’s resolution. Not many yeses. Someone on Twitter today was swatting the question away before she could be asked. She was proud to announce that she would be the same asshole she was in 2021 throughout 2022. (Which, by the way, sounds like a resolution. Refusing to change in a changing world? Not so easy.)
Resolutions have a reputation for failing. But so does marriage, and people are still stumbling into marriage believing they’ll be in the small percentage that can make it work.
Yes, I’m one of the weird people who can keep a resolution. (I wasn’t great at marriage.)
Here are my secrets to keeping resolutions.
- Don’t choose weight loss. If you do, this is what will happen–you’ll lose weight quickly until February and then you’ll hit the dreaded plateau. You’ll stay there until you give up.
- Don’t choose anything you want to want. If you don’t want the result or change on a sincere and profound level, you won’t achieve it.
- Don’t choose more than two. In fact, one is enough unless the resolutions are easy or trivial.
- Don’t choose anything that relies on someone else’s cooperation. If you’re old enough to read my blog, you’re old enough to know that you can’t depend on others. Resolutions have to be self-directed, self-supported, and self-appreciated.
- If you must choose a health-related resolution (instead of weight loss) resolve to do one thing daily (or weekly) to improve your physical health. Buy a journal and keep up with those things.
- Choose something slightly challenging that you will also enjoy. I once read two books a month. With my schedule, that was challenging, but I look back on that year with good memories of good books.
- Beware of self-denial, especially if you picture yourself on December 31 indulging in the item you’re removing from your life because 365 days without is going to be hell. Yes, you should stop smoking, binge-drinking, or whatever, but addiction may required professional assistance.
- Visualize it. Does it work in your imagination? Can you fit this new habit into your schedule or remove the old habit without destroying your peace of mind? Do you feel any enthusiasm about it? You should. If you feel even a tinge of dread, chances are, you won’t succeed.
I have had good experiences with the following resolutions:
- Reading a certain number of books.
- Writing every day.
- Meditating daily.
- Driving from sea to sea alone with no plans.
- Health improvement.
- Refusing to let work-related items past the mudroom of my house.
- Organizing photos/memorabilia into scrapbooks.
- Several bucket-list items that seem too stupid to add here.
The secret is to be sure the resolution is something you can do and will want to do. I would never give up chocolate, cursing, or staying home as much as possible. Maybe it would benefit me to do so, but I’m not interested. For me, those are not good resolutions.
I wish you luck with your 2022 plans, whether you choose to make a change in your life or if you want to remain the asshole you were last year. Consider me on your side, cheering you on. As for me, I’ll be writing every day again because I enjoyed it so much last year.
