My time teaching meditation was short but the questions and problems of students were always the same.
The number one problem of meditation students was the inability to focus. The mind wandered. Mental movies played, usually reruns of things better forgotten.
The second most common complaint was physical discomfort or pain, followed by a tendency to fall asleep.
I don’t have answers for everyone, and it’s possible I don’t have answers for anyone. However, I have compiled a few thoughts that have helped me through hurdles as a meditator.
First, I want to detach myself from any particular meditative discipline. Some of them are dogmatic to the point of complete lack of compromise. I’m not criticizing those disciplines, either, (I have sat zazen for six hours and was hit with a stick) because they are effective at producing a directed, trained mind. If a style of meditation has lasted more than five years, it has merit with someone. I’ve tried many of them. Each is right for somebody.
The multitude of meditative syles leads to my first suggestion:
- Try a new style. Even if you have no intention of staying with it, check out another method. One of two things will happen–either you will understand more why you prefer your own method, or you will prefer the new method (or part of it). I began with transcendental, moved to Zen, to mantra, and let them coalesce into a hybrid form that works for me. I don’t have the approval of the purists and I’m okay with that. If you struggle with meandering thoughts, learning a new method will sharpen your focus, at least for the time that you are learning.
- Try a meditation substitute. Most alternatives for meditation involve controlled motion, such as yoga or tai chi. It may be best to avoid the negative stress of competitive activities, like sports. When I first learned to meditate, it was easy for me. I realized it was because of my background in ballet. The series of motion became a sacred ritual, and although I didn’t realize it as a child, it cleared my head of the chaos of those early years. I’ve heard many speak similarly about yoga. Once learned, it is a sort of meditation.
- Break the rules of your existing practice. For one, if you’re in pain, it’s possible that forcing yourself to stay in whatever position you’re trying to hold will eventually work. It’s also possible that you’re hurting yourself. Try a chair. Some can even meditate lying down, although most of us fall asleep. If you fall asleep when you’re comfortable, try sitting on the edge of a chair.
- Change your expectations. When speaking to students of meditation, it seemed some of them expected meditation to be therapy. This is a rampant idea at meditation retreats where you’ll meet people who have decided that a weekend with a monk is the equivalent of a year with a therapist. (Maybe it has worked for someone!) The idea of achieving enlightenment, without understanding the concept of it, has caused many meditators to become discouraged and disappointed. Meditation is mundane, but helpful. It calms, soothes, and centers. The occasional euphoria is a gift. Remember, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” (Yes, I’m aware there are many ways to interpret that particular koan.)
- Change your goal. Maybe your mind doesn’t want to be tamed. Maybe its best habitat is complete freedom, untethered, focused in the way a child’s is when playing. If counting breaths and observing the seconds pass is something you dread, consider your type of meditation may be to hike, write, sing, paint–something that involves imagination. After all, it is the focus of the mind that causes us to both lost track of time and become a seamless part of it.
Like everything else in life, meditation can be comforting as a routine and it can also become stale as a routine. The benefits are well documented. It has always seemed worthwhile to me, even to the point of teaching it (and I hate teaching). If you’re reading, you know what it means to you and that is all that matters. Keep meditating, medicating, or whatever makes life lighter.
