The type of scene I find most difficult to write is physical action. Fights. Battles.
For one, I’ve never engaged in a serious physical conflict. However, I’ve never experienced many of the subjects I write about. What makes action so difficult?
Something about writing a fight begins to feel like a police report. A jab here. A punch there. People fall, bump into objects, scream obscenities. There are body fluids. The fight may last only a minute, but the actions fill a page. It reads like directions for Twister.
In my last novel, I wrote several fights and battles. I wrote them poorly the first five times. I believe they were improved in later versions because of four considerations I made during rewriting.
- In third-person limited or first-person, what is the point-of-view character aware of in the short time she is in conflict? A lot of what I wrote originally was cut when I made this consideration. A person in fight-or-flight mode is not aware of all of her surroundings. She may not be aware of how she is reacting, even. Focus is on protecting herself and destroying the enemy and any signs from her environment that help her stay grounded in that moment.
Most strikes made by the opponent can be cut. She is aware of some of them, but her attention will be on her defense and her next move. She may be recalling training. She may be listening for help from outside. When injured, her focus will narrow to survival and her attempts to stop her enemy will matter more than anything around her.
Suddenly, the page is a paragraph.
2. I looked at movies with fights and battles. While movies have the advantage of real-time, they still have the problem of focus. The best movies show a change or result as soon as possible. Besides the physical damage, the point of the fight needs to be obvious. The characters have to react. In a victory, what is won? In a defeat, what is lost? How does the character feel about the outcome? How does it drive (or settle) the story?
With a destination in mind, it’s possible that more details can be cut (or added). For example, if the fight is meant to be inflammatory, perhaps the cruelty or physical harm needs emphasis. On the other hand, a battle that leads to an immediate solution may divert attention to the relationship between the enemies and the subtle changes taking place in the general atmosphere.
Now, the scene is longer again, but it is less exposition and more revelation.
3.Time to use a thesaurus. Finding the most active and descriptive verb matters in action scenes. Onomatopoeia is effective. Think of comic books with the crashes and booms. Words that can be felt and heard add life.
The scene begins to shorten once more.
4. Shorten the sentences. A fighting character is unlikely to think in complex phrases. Choppiness also conveys a sense of speed. Expletives added to internal dialogue can add a sense of extreme urgency. Even an occasional one-word sentence fits. This change of style also sets the scene apart, and unless you’re writing a book about constant physical confrontation, it adds variety.
The scene is improved. It’s no longer a police report. It is set apart by its high stakes, but the pace seems as realistic as it can be on paper.
