One of those days can become one of those weeks, months, or years. I’m having one of those years.
Without going into detail about all that’s wrong (because, really, why bother) I can say with confidence that some uncomfortable transitions are in process or due any day. My work crisis isn’t new, but this intensity of career despair is taking its toll on my physical and mental health. Most days I’m grateful for allergies because I can blame my uncontrollable crying fits on pollen. Other days, I wonder if I’ll get arrested if I act on my rage. On less volatile days, I am quite sure I’ll soon know what a complete nervous breakdown feels like. For the past year, the soundtrack for this drama has been death and illness, and a roof that no one will repair.
A lot has been written about what “teacher-tired” means. You can’t know unless you’ve experienced it. Let’s say that most days, the last thing I want to do when I finally get away from school is…well, anything. It’s all I can do to keep the living fed and clean, and most days I’m dangerously apathetic about that.
So, how to write on days when there is no energy, no motivation, no interest, no time, and most of all, no inspiration?
Since I consider a day without writing a wasted day, I write every day.
My first rule, I never want writing to feel like a chore, so I don’t set a numerical goal. I’ll settle for a sentence, but usually, I’ll end up with more than that.
Here are a few tricks that work for me:
- Write a list. Stuff to do next weekend. People I miss and why. People, situations, and places that should f*ck off. Careers that are better than the one I’m in. Ten things that need to happen tomorrow.
- Do a hand-written journal page instead of attempting something by computer.
- Write a letter from one of your characters to you, about anything. Anything.
- Rage-writing. Just let it all go.
Not only are all of those activities acceptable as writing, but they can also be therapeutic or catapult you into your work-in-progress. Rage-writing, in particular, seems to flush negative obsessive thoughts and renew energy. Lists can remind you of something that should be a part of your current work.
If you need motivation to type out that difficult sentence requirement, just remember, if you don’t write today, the bad day won.
